The Duchows

Yeahkimahhhh!

2009-03-24T22:06:00.000-07:00

Fortunately for our three followers, uploading video to Blogger takes eons. So I learned to only do little mini-clips, and even this took eons. Anyway, I liked this little part of my weekend. I'm proud of my kid. This exchange was just like buttah.

The Facebook Phenomenon, and Many Sub-Phenomena

2009-02-15T07:14:00.000-08:00

So here is the reason that my last post was over two months ago: I've been sucked into the Facebook vortex. I discovered FB thanks to my friend Kelli, who sent me an invite to view her page. Up until that point I had only a vague notion of what FB was about, but figured it was a hobby I would explore more deeply in June, say, June 14th. Because at that point, school was due to end June 13th. Now, however, two or three blizzards later, we are ACTUALLY going to go to school until August 27th, approximately. Ok. I naively clicked on the link. The message said that in order to view Kelli's page, I had to have an account, but good news! It's Free! and Easy! So, I decided to lose my Facebook virginity a little sooner than I expected to. After entering my name (ok, that's legit), my hometown (wait, why?), my age (hmmm....who needs to know this?), and the high school I graduated from (wtf?), viola! I had a Facebook page!

The "Will You Be My Friend?" Phenomenon
As I tentatively clicked on various blue links and stumbled around the site a little, little did I know what was happening deep within the bowels of the Facebook machine. Within 23 minutes of opening my page, I had 10 "friend requests." This made me giggle, and it was the first of the Facebook phenomena I would discover. The broad heading could be "Things You Would Never Do in Real Life but Suddenly Become Acceptable on Facebook." When someone is your "friend" on Facebook, it means that she or he can see all of the pictures and status updates (another phenomenon, soon to be discussed) that you have posted on your page. And, she or he can get another friend on their list. There are two questionable things going on here. First, asking for a friend. Here is how many times I have asked someone, formally, to be my friend in real life: Never. Maybe when I was in Kindergarten. But since then, Never. Second, keeping a count of my friends. On my profile page, there is a box with links to all of my friends' pages. There's nothing wrong with this; I have indeed used that function to find other people. But here's the problem. At the top of the list, it actually says how MANY friends I have. Some people make it a personal goal to reach a certain number of "friends." I quote that because, REALLY? Are they REALLY our friends? Yes, many of them are truly my friends and in real life I associate with them and call them on the phone or at the VERY least think of them warmly from time to time. In fact, I use a question as my self-imposed criterion when responding to or sending out, which I rarely do, friend requests. Here it is: Do I Actually Know Who You Are? And here's the real problem with this "counting friends" function. It's like Junior High. Nuff said.

The "Laura is Trying to Decide Between a Thong and Granny Panties" Phenomenon
(also known as the "TMI" phenomenon)
Here is what Facebookers do. They update their "status." This is when you go in and tell the world, or at least your Facebook World, what you are doing at that particular moment. Here's a status update that I love: "So and so is playing with the kids." Because no you aren't, you are Facebooking. And your kids are probably watching some parent-guilt-reliever show like Dora the Explorer on TV, WAITING for you to play with them. Which you won't actually do, because you will get distracted by some Facebook application (another phenomenon, soon to be discussed) that will take forever to download, and by then the kids will be 18 and ready for college and therapy. Status updates fall under the category of "Things you would never do in real life but suddenly become acceptable on Facebook" because if a friend were to call me on the phone and say, "Hey, Laura. Right now, I'm folding laundry," and hang up, I'd think wtf? And if a friend were to call me on the phone and say, "Hey, Laura. Right now, I'm paying bills," and hang up, I'd think wtf? But on Facebook, we actually use precious minutes of our LIVES to get online and find out who is folding laundry and paying bills. I decided on the thong, by the way.

The "Application" Phenomenon, or, the "So and So Has Sent You a Death Threat. Send One Back?" Phenomenon
I haven't figured these out. At any given time I have no fewer than 10 invitations, requests, or gifts. These are things like, "So and so has sent you a drink." Then, I have the choice to "send one back" or ignore it. Here's what sucks...if I send one back, it sends my computer into one of those cyclical nightmares, where the little pinwheel comes up and spins and spins and spins and makes me want to take a sledgehammer to the damn thing. If I click "ignore," it sends my computer into one of those cyclical nightmares, where the little pinwheel comes up and spins and spins and spins and makes me want to take a sledgehammer to the damn thing. So what's a Facebooker to do? Here's what I do. I let them pile up. Facebook Friends, hear this. You will NEVER get a drink, or a snowball, or a valentine, or any other application, from me. Solicited or not. But it's not personal, and that's what also sucks. Because I don't want any friends thinking that here they went to the trouble of sitting through the spinning pinwheel for three hours to send me a Lil Green Patch and I just ignored it.

The Panhandling Phenomenon
Here is something people (normal people) NEVER do in real life: ask friends for money. And yet, I have had TWO Facebook friends actually ASK for money. One asked for money to help pay for the veterinary care of a pet because by not putting the surgery on credit, she and her husband are teaching their children to live debt free. By begging? And another friend was a little more subtle. He just quietly created a link to a site where friends could--listen to this--CONTRIBUTE MONEY TO HIS HONEYMOON FUND. I am not going to say anything more about this.

The "Mystery High School Friend" Phenomenon

Sometimes, I receive friend requests from people claiming we went to High School together. The first time I got one of these, I saw that we had several mutual friends, so I accepted the request, albeit reluctantly. I figured that although I had absolutely zero recollection of this guy, it would eventually come to me. A while later I ran into another Facebook friend (and yes, a Real friend) at Target and I asked her, quietly, in case he was in the next aisle, just who the hell he was. She didn't know either. She had friended him for the same reason I had, because it seemed we had some friends in common and maybe, hopefully, it would eventually come to her. A few weeks later I was running with another friend and asked him, quietly, in case the mystery guy was running behind us, if he knew who this guy was, because he was a Facebook friend, too, and guess WHAT! He had friended him for the same reason I had, because it seemed we had some friends in common and maybe, hopefully, it would eventually come to him. Here's what sucks about this. First, I feel bad for the guy, because how awful to be the Friend No One Remembers but Accepts as a Friend Anyway In Case it Eventually Comes. To be honest, this is why I so rarely send out "friend requests." The second thing that sucks about this is this. What if this guy is a Bad Guy? What if he's weaseling his way into a bunch of peoples' lives in order to pull off some giant con scheme? What if he is conducting some Facebook Experiment and it will come out that we are all just a bunch of sheep with no ability to think independently? What if I watch too much TV?

The "Tag! You Look Like a Crackhead!" Phenomenon

Here's something I hate: tagging photos. Here's why. Facebookers can put pictures on Facebook, and they can put pictures of their friends, and they can do it without asking permission from their friends. What this means is that I can be out doing something in real life, not on Facebook, with friends, and they can take pictures of the process, with me caught in some unfortunate pose, closely resembling a convict or a crackhead, and they can post them on Facebook, and they can "tag" me, so that ALL of my friends can see I've been tagged, and they can LOOK at the photo, and they can SEE me looking like a convict or a crackhead. Granted, I can "untag" myself if someone posts a picture I find objectionable or just plain ugly, but usually not until half of my friends have already seen it and thought to themselves, Wow...age has NOT been kind to Laura. I didn't realize she was a crackhead.

So anyway. I still have a Facebook page. And despite all of the bad press I have given it, it's fun. This could be my last blog post for a good long time, so those of you giving me hell for leaving Grandma up for so long, don't hold your breath. And, assuming that you have made it to the bottom of this drivel without getting bored and starting a game of solitaire, feel free to friend me if we're not already hooked up. I'm trying to get to 500.

I think this video was inspired by my Grandma Ketcham.

2008-12-11T19:40:00.001-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-28T16:23:00.000-08:00

We headed to Shawn's folks for the holidays, where we did a whole lot of nothing, and in fact we are STILL doing a whole lot of nothing.

Corbin's Lesson

2008-11-15T22:21:00.000-08:00

The other day I was teaching a lesson in a fourth grade classroom on finding area and perimeter of irregular polygons. The teacher and I had the kids use toothpicks to create a floor plan of their "dream bedrooms." They could put anything in their dream rooms they wished, and unsurprisingly, they did. Swimming pools, hot tubs, roller rinks, skate parks, baseball diamonds, trap doors, art studios, recording studios, game rooms, ice cream counters, ornate hamster labyrinths, personal libraries: they were all there.

While the other kids filled their 12 x 18 inch papers with elaborate wishes and nooked and crannied floor plans, Corbin had just one small rectangle in the middle of his paper, with the words "My Bed" in one corner, "My Brother's Crib" in another corner, and "Our Dresser" and "Closet" in the remaining corners. We thought maybe he had misunderstood the directions and didn't know he could make up anything he wanted, so his teacher asked him about it.

Corbin explained, "Well, everyone wants these really cool things in their rooms, but I just want what I already have. Sometimes people don't even realize that the things they want most are the things they already have! It's like in the movie The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy tapped her shoes together at the end of the movie and said, "There's no place like home." She was right! There is really no place like home!"

Sometimes I teach kids. Other times, they teach me.

Pals

2008-10-29T19:56:00.000-07:00

Kellie was 4th in the Freshman race at Districts last weekend, and because she's previously beaten one (or two? I can't remember these things) of the three girls who were ahead of her, she needed a little cheering up. Molly, in her afro (a gift from Kellie), did a great job helping Kellie out of her little slump. I love these pictures. Girlfriends are priceless.

2008-10-25T05:59:00.000-07:00

Even though I link to my nephew's blog, I still occasionally lift a video here or there that makes me smile. This one stars Jonas, describing either some bizarre dream, or an idea for a screenplay or novel that he's maybe trying to pitch to his dad. Considering the quality of some movies and books out there, this one could have potential.

Re-try

2008-10-24T20:23:00.000-07:00

I'm going to try publishing this video in the blogger format instead of from YouTube to see if it's less grainy and fuzzy. This was Kellie's first XC win. We were pretty excited for her!

This and that...just to say I've posted recently.

2008-10-24T19:41:00.000-07:00

Cody brought Hayden over for a little target shooting practice in our back "yard" the other day. He's a great shot and he makes the cutest faces trying to look down the scope! Shawn took a lot of pictures and video that I'll post as soon as I get them downloaded. This little guy is about as cute as they come. Hayden, I mean.

Aaack. Kellie's first Homecoming dance was last weekend! Here she is with her good friend Molly waiting for the boys to arrive to pick them up. As soon as we get the dance picture scanned in, we'll post it.

Summer is, obviously, over.

2008-10-11T15:34:00.000-07:00

I heard someone say once that blogs are often like painfully bad Christmas letters that go on and on...and on...year round. Ours could be one of those. Fortunately for our three readers, school has started again so I have very, very little time to work on our blog. But I do know that my friend Jenny actually checks and reads our Perpetual Christmas Letter. I know this because she has begun sending me decidedly UNfriendly emails asking when I am going to remove the (what I believe is HILARIOUS) video of the ass-kicking child and put up a REAL post. So here you go, Jenny. Just be glad that I spared you a detailed account of Shawn's colonoscopy. I'm saving that for the real Christmas letter.

Below: Shawn and Kellie, first day of High School. For Kellie, I mean.

Kellie and me. Obviously.

Kellie, SpiderFreshman, slings her web before heading off to school. Turn your hand over, dingus. Arrgh...you'll never Defeat any Evil Doers that way.

Kellie lives and breathes for Cross Country. Here are a few pics from the season so far.Kellie's first XC trip of Highschool was to Boise, Idaho. The top 8 runners on her team went, and since Kellie is number 8, that included her. They flew down. I don't remember traveling by plane to any sporting events in HS. Then again, I don't remember traveling to any sporting events in HS, period. Except to watch.Kellie came home on cloud nine, with a medal for placing 7th (out of 140ish girls, I think), and muddy spikes to verify the significance of her accomplishment.

Most recently, MSHS competed at Seimers Orchard on Greenbluff. It was a stunning fall day and the girls were psyched. Kellie leaves it all out there every race.

We're over-the-top proud of her.

Ok, one final note. This turkey was challenging his reflection at our basement slider door this afternoon. I'm sure there is something more clever to say about this picture, but I'm only just a little smarter than the turkey so it's not coming to me at the moment. Funny though, isn't it? This is actually the second time we've had a turkey visit our basement door and try to kick his own ass.

The Omak Stampede, 2008

2008-08-12T13:44:00.000-07:00

Shawn's parents treated the family to the Omak Stampede last weekend. These photos are mostly ours but there are some of the Suicide Race that we simply couldn't have taken...you will know which ones they are. Thanks, Mom and Dad! We had a great time.

Just in Time for High School...

2008-08-06T08:17:00.000-07:00

Kellie just got her braces off! THREEE LONGGG YEARSSS. A LOTTT OF MONEYYY. So we worked up a routine to celebrate and share with our friends and family. Enjoy.

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A Day at the Laundromat

2008-08-01T08:41:00.000-07:00

Summer is for doing all of the chores that get neglected during the school year. Kellie and I lugged the comforters to the laundromat this week. I remember the laundromat being kind of a boring and depressing place, back when I had to use one, in my pre-washing machine days. But Kellie pointed out that there is actually a lot to do at the laundromat besides wash and dry and wait.

You can get your sticker shopping done.

You can play in the play area with the three toys that have not been stolen yet. Or washed, ever.

You can read all of the ridiculous signs that hve been posted, such as this one, which points out that the machine is out of order. Really? I wouldn't have known, from the gaping hole where the coin slot is supposed to be.
You can look for things stuck to the ceiling. Mostly little sticky hand toys. Maybe you can try to get them down.
You can make funny faces for the security camera. From the looks of the laundromat, the guy who is supposed to monitoring the camera is asleep in the back.
You can plan your next vacation.
You can relax in the lounge, and watch the flat screen TV. It's Michael Scott's dream. He could just stand there and watch TV for hours.

You can wash your low meat. Low meat?
You can brush up on your spelling skills. Oh, Low HEAT. Permanetly, apparetly.
You can smoke a few cigs, and then drop them for someone to pick up later. Some might call you rude and inconsiderate, but you would really be philanthropic. You would help to stimulate the economy by giving people jobs to do, like pick up your garbage for you.And finally, you can get career ideas. At least you would only have one color group to deal with at the laundromat: camo.

MSHS XC

2008-08-01T08:23:00.000-07:00

Kellie and her team met for a run in 7-Mile followed by a barbecue at Coach Linder's house. Here they come. There they go. XC isn't always all that eXCiting to watch.
Why are you walking, Kellie?
Kellie and Johanna.

Here's Linder with Caleb, and below that, Amanda with Hailey (just peeking in from the corner). Thanks for the hospitality and the burgers.

The Way, Way Back

2008-07-28T13:40:00.000-07:00

This is the best documentary ever made. It's a year old but it was just posted on my nephew's blog. So I tried to lift it, like the birthday movie from earlier this month, but no go. It was filmed and edited by Jonas' dad, Laurence Gonzales. Check it out: The Way, Way Back

They're back!

2008-07-20T18:40:00.000-07:00

Shawn's little brother Clint and his wife Kris have returned from Baltimore, Maryland. Clint is able to work from home and Kris can be a stay-at-home mom. Lucky duck. They spent the weekend with us before Clint left for San Jose on business (how is that working from home?). Here's a quick video of our time together. Kris and I opted for a pedicure while the kids arched. Archered. Archeried. While the kids shot their bow and arrows.

More Robin Hood in the backyard

2008-07-17T06:24:00.000-07:00

This is me, Maid Marion.I am shooting at one of these targets. Hmmmm....which one should I get? My husband is so dreamy...he keeps many animals behind the house so whenever I need something to cook for dinner, he just goes out back and gets me a delicious rack of foam venison ribs. Dad shows Mom how it's done...
And mom does it. Good form.

One of my summer book groups

2008-07-17T06:19:00.000-07:00

As promised, girls. Here we are discussing our nicknames, but that's all I can say. As teachers we have to be a bit prudent about what we post all over the internet for everyone and God to see, right Vixie?

Redneck Dinner on the Deck

2008-07-17T06:05:00.000-07:00

Brad, Amy, and Danielle Thoma came over for dinner on the deck the other night, along with Mike and Kelli Rydeen. Here's Danielle listening to her dad talk about the many benefits of choke holds. Mike has a few words to say about choke holds, too.
So Brad decides to demonstrate a choke hold. I THINK this is just a demonstration, anyway.
And here's Amy, who could kick everyone's ass at this table. She's smiling because she knows it.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

2008-07-16T09:23:00.001-07:00

So, today my dad has a birthday. I won't tell exactly how old he is, but I will say he's younger than 61 and older than 59. Love you, Dad.

Here are Jonas and his buddies Phoebe and Alice wishing Grandpa Ted a Happy Birthday.

Off to Camp Reed

2008-07-14T08:51:00.000-07:00

On Sunday afternoon, Kellie left for her last week as a traditional camper at Camp Reed. Here she is, driving us down the hill to the highway. Next summer, she will be able to drive all the way to camp. Sniff.

Here's Kellie waiting in line to check in at camp. She begged us to take pictures of her and call attention to our family in front of the other campers. We kept saying, "No, Kellie, we feel so stupid taking pictures," but she insisted.

I think that she may be muttering something about how much she loves her mom and dad through her gritted teeth.

She also begged her dad to take pictures of me making funny faces in front of all of the other campers. We were happy to help her out.

Here's Shawn helping Kellie get settled in. Kellie doesn't know how good she has it. Behind Shawn is the rear-end of a mom who made her highschool daughter's BED for her. Alls we did was talk real loud-like and take a million pichers of our sweet lil' chil'.

Here's Kellie with Sarah, her best friend since Kindergarten. Kellie has just said, "Alright...you can go now!" So we left.

Robin Hood

2008-07-14T08:47:00.000-07:00

Kellie and her dad played Robin Hood in the back yard on Sunday.

TheDuchows.blogspot.com

2008-07-13T17:39:00.001-07:00

So here it is: our first blog. I couldn't believe the name wasn't already taken! We've all done our part: Kellie's chosen a cute little widget, I've figured out how to make a playlist, and Shawn's teased us relentlessly. Just wait...he'll be checking our blog daily before long, and maybe even adding his own posts?

We'll get better and better at this thing so that our viewers, both of you, will want to check back regularly for exciting and amazing updates.

Until then, listen to some groovy music and throw the ball for Chopper.